How Do You Deal With Negative People?

We all have someone in our lives who seems constantly negative - getting offended by small things, complaining, pessimistic and angry. 


This can be difficult and can drain your energy, speaking from personal experience when you are elevating and have overcome your negative thoughts the next battle is other peoples negativity projecting towards you. Their negativity can make you fall back into bad behavioural patterns to even turn your mind negative. 


One simple solution would be to cut these individuals out of your life. Yes, if you are unable to get to a healthy mental place due to them or if they are harming you in any way then cutting them off is the best option. That is the step you need to take in healing yourself. 


However, there are other options to consider too especially if you are in a place where you can focus on a place of growth within yourself beyond old patterns that do not serve you anymore. 

This is seeing the deliciousness in this negative person. It sounds weird but hear me out! Here is this person who is constantly complaining, being critical and they're in your life. Perhaps you care about them maybe they're a loved one or a family member. In truth, this person is most likely hurting themselves and I am sure you know what this feels like because right now you are hurting in the same way due to their actions. 


When this person is being critical towards you it can be painful and you may feel stressed due to the criticism. You may not notice that you're feeling this way but you do - otherwise, you wouldn't be frustrated by their actions/words. You are reacting to them in the same way that they're reacting to you - with negativity. You're both feeling this similar pain and you both reach back to old patterns of complaining, pain, and anger. 


The change MUST start with YOU right now!

So now that you see how their negativity affects you, you know you don't want to do the same to others. You can see that this negativity festers in them and it causes them to feel unhappy. 



A Practice For Negative People

Here are ways you may work with the energy of a negative person:

See the person's pain with compassion and love. If the person is being negative because they're in pain, stressed, unhappy or insecure. We have all felt these emotions at some point, so we know how it feels right? See this negativity as an old habit that is masking their pain. Can you now feel compassion for that pain, pain which you have also experienced?

See it as an old pattern that is unhelpful for them. Their pattern, when they feel this pain is to lash out, criticize and complain. At one point in their life, this may have helped them get through a difficult time but it is not serving them anymore. You can see with love and compassion that they're stuck in this old pattern. Then recognise that you as well as everyone else have old behavioural patterns that do not serve us but are hard to get rid of. By doing this, you are both connected. 

Feel nothing but love for them. If this person is a family member or a loved one, it is helpful, especially for them to pour out unconditional love out to them, even if you say nothing. Just feeling this in your heart is enough - they may feel that love even if you don't. Either way, the love will transform you allowing you to shift how you are behaving towards them (coming from a place of love). 


If this person is not a loved one, can you open your heart to feel love for others who aren't close to you? This may be a heart-opening shift for most people and it worth the discomfort of stretching into something new.

 

See the "deliciousness" in their negative energy. When someone is being negative, there is an energy that is pouring out of them and into you. It can be an energy that we don't like but it doesn't have to be. We can open up to this energy, savor its taste and appreciate the nuances. We can find deliciousness in it, dropping our old characterization of this energy and seeing it with a fresh perspective. It is an experience, just like it is an experience to feel the sensations of sunbathing under the scorching sun or feeling the breeze on your skin. Relish this experience, you will be open to a much wider range of experiences than you have previously. 


This is a transformative practice that completely changes the relationship you have with people. When someone gives you negative energy, you can appreciate it and the opportunity this gives to you instead of falling into negative patterns yourself!



Important Counterparts

With all that being said there are some important points I so want you to remember:

It is fine to set boundaries. If you need to protect yourself from getting hurt or you need time away from this particular person that is fine. Speak up about your boundaries. It is OK to not allow yourself to get abused. It is only from this place of being protected and having boundaries that we can work with this person. 


Give them the gift of honesty. If the other person is being overly negative, playing a victim it is one thing to practice the beauty in all energy but once you do, you come from a place of love when you share the impact of their negativity on you, them and others. It is good to practice this type of feedback so that you're not holding yourself back from others, they can benefit from hearing how their actions affect others. The feedback does not have to be given negatively or critically it can be from a place of compassion and non-judgment. 


You can do this with yourself. When you see your pain, your negativity chooses to feel love for yourself and see the beauty in your own energy. 


It is OK to not practice these methods perfectly. This is an art form itself and it takes time to master it! You may not always be able to see the beauty in either your own or other people's negativity and you might not always find compassion for them. This is normal and it is fine, try to see if you can find glimpses of compassion and love for them. Practice in whatever capacity you can and see how it goes!


I hope this post helped you! Love and blessings to you all!

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