When I was younger I was terrible at self - care and I have learned the hard way over the years that self-care is really essential to the well being and happiness of each person. A young, naive me would use self - destruction instead of self-care; I think I can go as far as to say that I was a master at self-destruction. I didn't realise how much of a problem this was until 2 years ago which is the dangerous part.
Choosing Self - Destruction Over Self - Care
Self-destruction for me in my early teens was not eating properly, my younger sister could eat and eat and never put on weight and I was so conscious about it due to remarks from my parents etc. So I would skip meals and starve myself which actually ended up making me feel more bloated than helping me lose weight. I would never sleep enough, I would lock myself in my room, not communicate with friends or family and the people I did communicate with, did not serve me at all.
The roots of why you choose to self - destruct can be anything, it's no one's right to judge whether it is a worthy reason or not, our battles and demons are specific to us, our lives and emotions.
Generally, I came from a loving family until my parents divorced when I was thirteen and I was the only person who could understand what was going on at the time and it mentally and emotionally drained me. There were 101 other factors in the situation but to keep it simple and brief it made me struggle to find my identity which led to such big insecurities for my entire teenage years.
This added with growing, going through puberty and having two extremely protective and tight-lipped older brothers I started having suicidal thoughts, leading to depression and anxiety. But hey, I am not saying any of this for you to feel sorry for me. I have no one to blame for my emotions but myself and I came through on the other end, I want to ensure that you all know you can relate to me and the topics I discuss on Discover Oneness all come from a very personal place.
The First Step To Self-Care And Self-Awareness
The first step is for you to be aware of how bad things may have gotten for you and that this must change, there is no weakness in this, it is commendable and positive. Being in denial about yourself and your problems is so dangerous, once you have identified what your problem is you can choose to change but if you are in denial about what is going on no improvement can be made.
So that is exactly what I did, I decided to face all the bad behaviour traits I had and chose to change them.
Steps Towards Self - Care
The first step I took towards self - care was meditation, I was very lucky that I had an amazing coach called Bobbie, who mentored me when it came to meditation, she introduced me to 528 Hz which changed my life and bought me here to my life's purpose. I started by listening to 528 Hz whenever I felt stressed and needed a pick me up. Later I practiced meditating firstly by setting a timer for two minutes and week by week when I felt I could focus 100% on the meditation I would add a minute. Almost a year later and I meditate for 30 minutes twice a day, more if I get the time!
I will never forget the feeling of my first ever guided meditation, it was one of the most beautiful experiences I was able to endure. During this guided meditation I had my first of many closed-eye visions where I was able to fully connect with my spirit guides and they sent me messages to help me get through the tough battles I was facing. I could feel the cold breeze against my skin, my third eye was buzzing like a bee and a rainbow of colours and showers of messages came through like as if I was seeing from a completely new set of eyes.
From that moment I have never doubted myself to the extent that I used to, I believed in every aspect of the universe and the energy around me. It all clicked into place for me as it can for you too.
Other Lifestyle Changes I Made:
I stopped drinking caffeine, I was never really a coffee drinker but on a cold day I would cosy up to some tea and in the morning energy drinks was my go-to. I stopped caffeine due to practicing and working towards opening my third eye and keeping it open. Another tip, if you have anxiety you should not be having caffeine so that would be step one to me if I were you, you could be overly affected by the depressants and stimulants inside.
Getting a good night's sleep is something that I am still working on and my friends and family go on and on at me about it but I can't help it! With having a full-time job, a business and a million and one other commitments sometimes it feels like I only get everything done late at night. I have gotten better by using time management skills and it has improved my mood in the mornings and overall my mood for the entire day due to there not being a CRASH at 11 am/12 pm.
Lack of sleep can also cause anxiety due to our brains not being able to function as well when we are tired and our memory and reasoning suffer. In a busy world, most of us take sleep for granted but you have to allow yourself to have between 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Wear earplugs if you need to, remove stimulants and avoid being on your phone for a minimum of 20 minutes before you decide to go to sleep.
Be Kinder To Yourself To Improve Self - Esteem
After making numerous lifestyle changes I realised it was time I made steps to improve my self - esteem and be kinder to myself. I realised I had made quite the collection of friends that weren't good for me over the years and I was generally very different to them and with my new spiritual awakening, I was almost an alien compared to them. So I had to take the steps to distance myself from them; I began to show myself that I was worth more than nonserving friendships thus leading to me being kinder to myself.
Spend Time With Friend That Are Good For You
After realising most of my friends did not share the same interests or goals as me I started to notice the friends that had a similar vision and mindset as the one I had created. I started to speak to them more, planned to visit them and any free time I did have I would make plans with them as opposed to constantly spending time with those who weren't good for me.
I am so much happier now that I spend time with friends who have similar interests as me. It is liberating to have conversations with substance and share goals and passions with those you can truly trust.
Recognising And Removing Yourself From Toxic Relationships
You need to realise that you don't need to put yourself in toxic social situations or remain in toxic relationships. It is so empowering to choose the right people around you. Having less is more when it comes to friends and relationships, a loss is not always a loss.
It took me a long time to realise the relationship I was in was holding me back in more aspects of my life than one. I could see myself elevating and progressing rapidly but there was something or little did I know someone that was holding me to my old behavioural patterns. I have as much fault to blame for the situation but once I removed myself from the relationship I felt so secure in myself.
Build a relationship with yourself
Ensure you are spending enough time alone to get to know yourself, what do you like to do, what is therapeutic to you, what makes you happy? Evaluating your life, making decisions and practicing self-care are all things you can do in the comfort of your own space. It allows you to stay in tune with yourself and get in touch with your inner guidance system.
Self-care comes in a lot of different forms; the steps I have taken have made me a better person and have given my life more happiness and meaning.
Looking after myself is something I choose to not neglect anymore and I prioritise my mental health over everything when I feel distressed. I have learned that I deserve nothing less.
Self - care is one of the most important things you can do, without it we don't have the strength to become the best versions of ourselves. To me not being the best version of yourself is one of life's most wasted opportunities.